Post Christmas. Post New Year.

Christmas is over.
(Pause to remember Christmas.)
New Year is over.
(Pause to remember New Year.)
Real life is back.
(Pause to scream!)

It's true that real life is now back. I'm sat writing this from the kitchen/dining area/lounge area of my student flat. I now have less then 6 months left at university. That was my last Christmas where I know for certain I'll be with my family. And it was probably the best one in the last few years. Even though my Dad "left" his job and is just doing a few hours a week somewhere else. And my Mum was still finding work stressful, it was a relatively calm Christmas. Which makes a change.

I wonder where the calmness came from this year. My brother has now moved to university and I am honestly surprised that he made it through the first term. Both academically and alive from what we've all heard. Or at least, still with a liver. My parents didn't suddenly have 4 people back in the house. Instead, I returned a week before my brother. So they got used to us being about. My brother is still at home. He doesn't go back till Sunday. So perhaps that was part of it.

I've also grown up. As I now live with someone I really can't stand, I've had to learn to bite my tongue and not pick up on every little thing that someone does that annoys me. A roll of the eyes and I feel better. I no longer feel the need to scream and shout about everything. Or indeed, bitch about it. Though that too can be helpful. I'm not going to lie.

3 weeks at home was long enough. The plan for Easter is a week. I can look for somewhere to live and do some work over Easter up at uni. Which would be a good way to spend some time.

I'm thinking about the coming year and what I'm going to do in the coming months. The honest answer is that...I don't know. I know what I want to do. But what I want and what will happen are totally different things. I want to stay here in the north east and work and live and serve church and be independent. I don't drive and I have few friends at home. So see little reason to stay there. When I have friends who feel like family, a good Church (I do also have that at home), independence and a boyfriend all up here. Surely my life has moved on from my childhood bedroom and the street I've always lived on but don't feel all that safe walking up.

Granted, I haven't moved to the best city in England. Nor is it the worst. But I'm happy here and feel very much at home. The hours of looking on house hunting websites and job searching websites has started. I feel like an adult. I am 21 but still feel very much like a child sometimes.

But I think that's okay. Because isn't everyone a child sometimes? And didn't Walt Disney say..."Adults are only kids grown up anyway?"